Sunshine State
by Justine Lark
Summary: More than a missing moment, it's a missing weekend from Eclipse! Experience Bella and Edward's visit to Florida from Edward's POV. Can Edward monitor Victoria's attack, pass for human, keep Bella happy, win Renee's approval and stay out of the sun?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: More than a missing moment, it's a missing weekend from Eclipse! Experience Bella and Edward's visit to Florida from Edward's POV. Can Edward monitor Victoria's attack, pass for human, keep Bella happy, win Renee's approval and stay out of the sun? Complete in 12 chapters.

___Author's Note: __One of my daughters asked me to write about the trip to visit Renee, so here it is for everyone to enjoy, I hope. __These characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I appreciate the opportunity to borrow them._

* * *

Flying from Seattle to Jacksonville took all day. In the seat next to me, Bella was restless, impatient to land and throw herself into her mother's arms. I smiled at her anticipation and rejoiced that such a wonderful distraction was available. True, Charlie wasn't pleased about my presence on the trip, but Bella hadn't suspected there was a particular reason that I wanted her thousands of miles from Forks.

I touched the small silver phone in my pocket. I was nearly as eager to arrive as Bella, because I'd be able to check for a message from Alice. She had assured me that Victoria wouldn't arrive until Saturday, but we both knew not everything could be predicted. She had promised to keep me updated, and she had promised to be available for any help I needed getting through the weekend. She'd already previewed the weather and warned me when I'd have to avoid the sun. We were a team, and together we were going to keep Bella safe and ensure a smooth operation on both sides of the continent.

I was embarking on a very challenging journey. I would be spending the entire weekend, day and night, with Renee and Phil. Bella would be sleeping in the only guest room. I'd be sleeping on the couch, which meant I'd probably have to pretend to sleep. Even worse, I'd probably have to eat food. Could I be convincing in the part of a normal boy? Of course, for decades, we had lived among humans and blended in— or at least tried not be so conspicuous. But we'd usually kept people at a distance, and we'd always had the option of leaving. In fact, we'd been obliged to exercise that option more than once.

It did not seem advisable to repel Renee nor to vanish suddenly from her life. Therefore, I simply couldn't let her develop any suspicions. I reflected how exceedingly fortunate I was that my dream girl shared a home with a parent whose credo was "Live and let live." Thoughts sometimes crossed Charlie's mind regarding my odd appearance and habits, but he never pursued them. I couldn't depend on Bella's mother to be as relaxed and uncurious regarding her daughter's boyfriend.

But, I realized, my concerns went beyond simply wanting to pass for human. I wanted Renee to approve of me. For Bella's sake, but also for my own. I remembered how nervous Bella had been coming to my home for the first time. I had found it natural that she should worry about entering a remote house full of vampires. She'd insisted that she was only concerned about whether my family would like her. I thought she was trying to reassure me, trying to project calm about socializing with my kind. Now it occurred to me that she might have been sincere.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked.

"The weekend," I replied. "I don't want your mother to notice anything unusual about me."

"She's already aware that you're the best looking man on earth," she teased, her brown eyes sparkling.

"If you say so." I knew my appearance was designed to appeal to humans, but hers was the only opinion that mattered to me.

"I do say so. And she already knows that you want to be with me, so there must be something seriously wrong with you." I chuckled. Seeing Bella in such high spirits, knowing that every minute took her further from the danger approaching Forks, made me glow with satisfaction.

"Seriously wrong with my heart. It's missing, because I gave it to you." I'd never miss a chance to tell her how much she meant to me.

"_Seriously_, I'm so happy you're with me and we're going to see Renee!"

"I know." She was literally bouncing in her seat with anticipation. I couldn't help smiling at her excitement. I was determined not to disappoint her. Bella's time with her mother would be fun and carefree.

* * *

_Author's Note: Please review. You have_ no idea _how much I love getting reviews. All feedback is welcome._


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as the plane landed, I checked my phone. Alice's text message, "Love you both!" seemed perfectly innocent, but it told me what I needed to know. Alice and I had anticipated that Bella might ask to read any message from her, and we had agreed on a code. These words indicated that nothing had changed.

Sprinting through the airport would be rude, but Bella walked very rapidly from the gate to the lobby. She didn't trip or even stumble. I was impressed. Renee was waiting to wrap her daughter in a long hug. Then she held her at arm's length, and carefully examined Bella's face and expression. _She looks different. Older, naturally. And the last time I saw her, she was not herself. _I flinched as I saw Bella in her mind, as she was then. A week after I left her. I struggled to maintain my composure. Charlie never thought of that time. Until now I'd been spared this evidence of my folly. But I had to maintain a pleasant expression.

"Mom, you look great!" Bella's face was alight with happiness.

"So do you. Both of you." Renee turned to me and pulled me into a hug. That was sweet of her, considering she was just recalling how much pain I'd caused her daughter. But her mind had quickly turned back to Bella in the present. _Now she looks confident, purposeful. It's wonderful to see her looking so together._

"It's very nice to see you again," I said politely, still reeling internally from the vision of Bella pale, hollow-eyed, unanimated. "Thank you for inviting me."

We headed for the garage, and Bella and Renee chatted about our flight, Charlie and the end of the school year. "Phil's busy this evening, and I thought the three of us could just go out for dinner," said Renee as we merged with traffic leaving the airport. Her mind was still overflowing with joy. I forced myself to focus on the present. Renee's happy thoughts helped to calm me.

"Don't you miss my cooking?" asked Bella.

"I don't want you to have to cook! This should be a vacation for you."_ I have missed her cooking, and everything else about her._

"It is a vacation because I'm spending time with you." She reached over to squeeze her mother's hand.

"Where should we go? What's your favorite kind of food, Edward?"

I remembered Bella asking me the same question. But I didn't think "mountain lion" was the right answer now.

"Anywhere is fine. I'm not hungry at the moment."

"Really?" _I thought teenaged boys were always starving. Phil's team could eat six meals a day. _

"They gave us food on the plane. It didn't look very good, but I ate it anyway, just because it was there. And since Bella was taking a nap, I ate hers too."

"Right," said Bella slowly. "Edward, you must be stuffed. I hope you don't mind sitting through dinner with us."

"I don't mind at all." I noticed her attempt to play along with my lack of appetite and pondered for a moment. Bella's help with my necessary deceptions could be valuable. But she was far from an expert liar. I might be better off managing the charade on my own. My special gift and decades of experience had enabled me to fool every human I'd encountered. Until Bella, of course. I'd play any part or cope with any obstacle for her sake. Whatever happened, I'd make it work.

"Let's get something that we don't have in Forks," she continued. "What about that Thai place you told me about?"

* * *

They placed their orders, and Renee excused herself from the table. I took the opportunity to pour ice water from my glass into Bella's. It was so humid. Humans had to drink a lot of fluids here.

"Are you planning to eat nothing the whole time we're here?" Bella asked sharply, as soon as Renee was out of hearing.

"I'll eat if I have to, and I probably will have to," I said quietly. I looked into her eyes, picked up her hand and began tracing circles on it. "Please don't worry. I can tell if my behavior is bothering someone and make adjustments. Remember, you're the only one whose reactions I'm not sure of."

She was starting to relax under my gaze, but she shook her head slightly and frowned.

"I'm not worried about whether you can fool everyone. I know you can do that. I'm worried about _you_."

"I don't understand."

"I know how awful it is for you to eat food." She looked anxious.

"Truly, I don't mind, love. There are many things I have to do. Eating food is not even close to being the hardest."

She sighed. I had no idea what was troubling her. Was she still concerned about what I might have to endure to pass as human? Did she doubt my ability to pull off the charade, despite her denial? I'd alluded to the burdens my family and I carried. Had I reminded her of the negative aspects of the identity she was so eager to assume?

"I'm fine," I insisted. "What would bother me is if I thought you were worried about me and not enjoying this visit."

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure." I leaned closer and locked my gaze on her chocolate brown eyes. This time her lips curved into a dreamy smile and her heart beat quickened. She inhaled, and I knew she was absorbing my scent. I was floating away on the love I saw glowing in her eyes. We were both startled by Renee's return.

The two of them chatted energetically throughout the meal. Renee's mind was full of her daughter, and she wasn't troubled by my failure to eat or drink anything. I listened to their conversation, basking in Bella's happiness. She looked over at me frequently and seemed reassured by my rapt expression. Then she knocked over her glass, and I automatically caught it before it fell.

"Thanks, Edward." She favored me with a radiant smile.

_How did he do that?_ "Wow, you have very fast reflexes! I bet Phil would like to have you on his team."

Bella's eyes flickered over to me for a moment and then she returned her attention to Renee. "Mom, I just started reading this amazing book. Angela recommended it…."

"Who's it by?"

Bella's distraction had worked. Renee had forgotten all about the glass.

* * *

"Edward, this is Phil," said Renee proudly. _The cutest, sweetest husband in the world_.

"Edward, nice to meet you." _Renee wasn't exaggerating. He's a good-looking boy._

"It's very nice to meet you, sir." We shook hands. _His hand is cold. Maybe we should lay off the AC. These two aren't used to Florida weather. Broiling outside and freezing inside. _

"Sir? I don't hear that very often. Please just call me Phil." _Is this kid in high school? He seems older than my guys. __I guess he's just nervous meeting_ _me. I am, gosh, I am his girlfriend's stepfather. I do _not_ feel old enough for that!_

"Bella's told us that your family is very athletic." _Gotta put him at ease._

"Yes, my brother Emmett especially. But all of us like to get out and run or go hiking."

"Well, you seem pretty fit," Phil continued. In his mind, I saw his intention of punching me gently in the upper arm, and I moved very slightly to absorb the impact. I couldn't let him bruise his knuckles on my body. "Maybe you can come out and warm up with my team tomorrow. Renee probably told you we're in the regional tournament this weekend. We have a game at 10:00 and another at 3:00. I'll be coaching all day. You can go with me in the morning, and Renee and Bella can pick you up."

"That sounds like a great idea," enthused Renee. _Male bonding time. Phil's so good with teens. I want to know what he thinks of Edward._

Alice had been certain that the sky would be cloudy until noon.

"Sure. I'd love to."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, especially since I didn't give you much to start with other than the premise! This chapter is still setting things up. There are definitely more fun moments to come._


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: I was all set to upload the next chapter, when I saw the review from icrodriguez, suggesting that Bella and Edward go to the beach at night. Reviewers tell me ideas sometimes, and I don't feel I have to use them, but this idea was brilliant and, in retrospect, obvious. In the future chapters I had already mapped out, Edward never went to the beach. I'd sent him to Florida, but I hadn't let him see the ocean. Clearly, that was a mistake, and there was a lot of potential fun in the alone time for the two of them. I realized the best time for this outing was_ before _the chapter I had planned to be next. Cheerfully ignoring my work obligations, I immediately began typing, and this is the result. Thank you icrodriguez!_

* * *

They showed us around the pleasant, small apartment. "Are you tired? What would you like to do?" Renee was trying to be a good hostess.

"Mom," said Bella, her eyes and voice suddenly full of animation. "Can Edward and I go to the beach?"

"It's kind of late," Renee hesitated. But she was picturing us strolling hand in hand along the ocean. _I want her to see how beautiful it is here._

"We're on Pacific time," Bella cajoled. Renee handed Bella her keys. I listened attentively to the directions. Perfect recall and the ability to see the landmarks in Renee's thoughts made me an excellent navigator.

"Be careful," she cautioned automatically.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I'll be safe with Edward."

She grabbed my hand as we left the apartment. She dragged me to the car at a rapid pace. She was bouncing with excitement. Her heart was beating quickly.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked in amusement.

"I have to be alone with you."

Her words took my breath away. I could never get over the thrill of hearing that she longed for my company and my touch as much as I longed for hers. She tossed me the keys.

"You drive, OK?"

"On one condition."

She stopped in her rush to the passenger door. For one moment she looked at me with a puzzled expression. I gazed at her, concentrating on the depth of my love and desire for her. Then she guessed what I meant, and she opened her arms. I was there in an instant. Too quickly, if anyone were watching, but I couldn't worry about that now. She was kissing me, and my senses were flooded with the warmth, the delicious taste, the softness and the electric response in my body. Reluctantly I pulled away.

"You read my mind that time, sweetheart. But I still can't read yours. Do you really want to go to the beach or was that just an excuse to get me out here and ravish me?"

She was slightly breathless. She ran her hands over my chest. "Yes, the beach," she murmured.

"Not that I'm complaining," I added. I opened the door for her, and she practically fell into the car.

I pulled out of the parking lot. "So, we have to get to the beach before I can touch you again? If you want me to drive at your speed, you'll have to distract me."

"Tell me your impressions of Renee and Phil," she demanded. She always liked me to give her the inside story.

"Renee is delightful. She's so happy to see you. Her thoughts are joyful and loving. I can barely keep from nodding my head when she's thinking about how wonderful you are."

"Oh, you're silly," she scoffed. "What does she think about you?"

"Honestly, she's been focused on you. It feels like she's reserving judgment on me. Phil thinks I'm mature. Little do they know how mature."

"Or how immature," she replied smartly. "If they saw you wrestling with your brothers, they'd believe you're a real teenager."

"Unless they noticed the damage we do." She laughed. "Maybe they'd believe if they knew how desperate I am to kiss you again," I continued. "Teenage boys are like that, aren't they?"

"I wouldn't know. You're the only one I've ever kissed."

The idea that with all my faults, I'd been the one to win the most glorious girl on earth elated me for the thousandth time. I stepped on the accelerator.

* * *

The beach was not lighted, but the moon was up. There were a few other people walking along the water. Bella ran out onto the sand. She pulled off her shoes and transferred them to one hand.

"Just drop them. I'll be able to find them."

She wrinkled her nose. "You mean you'll be able to smell them. Yuck!"

"You'll never be able to get away from me. I can track you down." I tossed my shoes next to hers, and we rolled up our pants.

"I wonder…," she began.

"What, love?"

"I want to play hide and seek," she declared with an impish grin.

"What are you talking about?" She was the only one who could keep me guessing.

"You have to hold your breath." I stared at her incredulously. "Yes," she insisted. "You're going to stop breathing, close your eyes and cover your ears while I hide, and you can't follow my scent."

"Bella, I'll be able to find you," I said patiently.

"I know! I just want to try it." She was all charged up.

"But I'd have to let you wander away from me."

"It's safe here. You can tell there's no threat. Come on, please?" She pushed down on my shoulders, and I obeyed her wordless command to sit in the sand. Kneeling in front of me, she stroked her fingers over my eyes to close them, and she placed my hands over my ears. She touched her finger to my mouth to remind me not to breathe. I nodded my acquiescence.

My eyes flew open in shock. She had licked my lips before running away. I slammed them shut again. Bella was so entertaining. She knew full well that she was by far the most desirable prey I had ever encountered. Now she was making me hunt her. I had to smile. She hadn't instructed me on how long to wait, but I felt that three minutes of sensory deprivation was all I could tolerate. I leaped smoothly to my feet and looked around. Her footprints were obvious. She'd run straight into the water, hoping to obscure her trail. Her heartbeat was just as obvious. She'd returned to the beach a short distance to my right. Now, did she want me to find her or did she want to baffle me? Did she want to be impressed with my tracking skills or impressed with her own stealth and cunning? Not breathing was making me edgy. I needed to find her and fill myself with her scent again.

She was lying on her back on the sand among some low dunes. I approached her swiftly but in perfect silence.

"May I join you?"

She was startled, and her face lit up with pleased surprise. "That was quick." She held out her hands to pull me down next to her. "Look at the stars." She snuggled next to me and put her head on my shoulder. The sky was clear and sprinkled with light, especially to my vision. The steady sound of the gently lapping waves was very soothing. A light, warm breeze ruffled Bella's hair.

"It's a beautiful night," I commented.

"Yes, it's so nice here. I wish we could come in the daytime."

I grimaced. "According to Alice, it will be overcast tomorrow morning, but after that, sunshine. I'm sorry."

"It's OK. I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't really mean it. I'd rather be with you even if we were in an igloo."

"Someday I'll take you to a deserted beach where nobody else can see my skin. I'll get all warm in the sun like a lizard, and I won't give you chills."

"I want you to give me chills." She rolled on top of me and held her lips over mine. I could feel the heat, but she didn't touch. It was wonderful. I could feel the weight and warmth of her body all along mine, and right where my nerves were quivering to feel the connection completed, she kept herself poised just out of reach. We were both breathing fast. I could feel her breath but not her skin on my lips. I lifted my head to try to capture her, but she moved away to maintain that sliver of separation. The proximity was warming my mouth and sending hot waves of painful pleasure racing through me. All my senses were concentrated on the touch she was withholding. The need was expanding, exploding.

I couldn't take any more. I pulled her head down to bring her mouth crashing onto mine. The contact after the long moments of teasing sent a huge jolt through my body. I felt the reaction in her body too. As our lips met at last, she shuddered in my arms and I could hear her heartbeat take off. After all the anticipation, I couldn't get enough. We kissed and kissed while I ran one hand through her hair and used the other to press her close to me. Finally, I rolled to the side and gently tipped her onto the sand next to me.

"Bella," I said, trying to get my breathing back to normal. Looking at her beautiful face, I saw an entrancing girl who had played a child's game with me and an enticing woman who had left me tingling with desire. I spoke each word separately. "That. Was. Fantastic. How do you think of these things?"

"I don't know," she said, blushing slightly and smiling. She ran her hand along my arm. "Being here in the dark, watching the stars together, maybe it reminded me of something. The time Mr. Banner showed a movie in Biology. Do you remember?"

"Of course."

"I wanted to touch you so badly. But I wouldn't let myself, and it felt…," her voice trailed off and she frowned, trying to find the right words.

"So terrible that you weren't sure if you wanted it to end immediately or last forever?"

She laughed. "I guess that's about right. Anyway, I just wanted to try it."

"Hide-and-seek and almost kissing. You're a genius. Do you have any other ideas for us to try tonight?"

"Well, we're going to have to try spending the night apart for the first time in ages," she said, sighing. "We'd better get back."

I helped her up, and we walked down to wade in the water before I led us back to our shoes.

* * *

_Author's Note: I simply adore writing fluff. I realized it's because when Bella makes Edward happy and he thinks she's amazing, he's really talking about _me_. He doesn't know it, but I'm the one using my imagination to drive him crazy, the only way I can-- on paper. Please let me know what you think! _


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: The __kiss in the previous chapter was revised, based on the review from TheSingingGirl. I don't know if I really succeeded in conveying Edward's experience during those moments, but I think this is an improvement. My reviewers are great. Please keep the constructive criticism coming. And if you only have praise, not criticism, I love hearing that too!_

* * *

Bella had spent a restless night. From the couch I heard her thrashing in her bed. In her sleep she called my name and begged me to come back. Apparently she missed having me beside her as much as I missed being there. I'd considered sneaking in, but the door to the master bedroom was between the guest room and the living room. If Phil or Renee wandered out of their room, I wouldn't have much warning, and I didn't think I could get past them and back in place without attracting notice. Every time I contemplated the idea, I reluctantly decided against it.

Because she slept so lightly, she woke up early. I heard her moving and abandoned my sleeping position. She came down the narrow hall quickly, bumping into the end table and setting the lamp rocking. I caught and steadied it.

"You're awake!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, Bella, I'm awake," I said dryly.

"Oh, you know what I mean. You're up." She looked tired, but I was too happy to see her to wish she had slept longer. I wasn't used to going so long without touching her. "I'll be back in a minute."

She tripped off to the bathroom, and I tidied the couch. When I heard her approaching, I turned swiftly and pounced. She let out a little shriek of surprise and found herself lying on top of me on the couch.

"I missed you," I whispered, running my hands over her arms and her back and kissing her throat. She didn't answer. She was already breathing faster. My mouth found hers, and for few heady minutes I let the tingling heat consume me. We were safe. Phil and Renee were sound asleep. Her lips were moving over my face now, and her hair fell all around me. I was immersed in a world of Bella, surrounded by her scent, her warmth and the sounds of her breathing and her heart racing. Her hands were trying to slip under my shirt. I restrained her. The movement was effortless for my muscles but a challenge to my willpower.

"Bella," I said sternly.

"Mmmmmm" she murmured, laying her head on my chest. "Why do you have to do that?"

"You know why," I said fondly, stroking her hair. Our back-and-forth on this topic wasn't always argumentative. Right now it felt like an affectionate habit. "Besides, Phil and Renee are just down the hall. You wouldn't want them to catch us, would you?"

"Hmph," she sniffed. "I've seen Renee making out with all sorts of unsuitable men over the years, sometimes on this same couch."

"Are you implying that I'm unsuitable?"

"You are unsuitable for me… _now_. But someday after I'm changed, I'll be just right for you. I hope." Little bursts of joy seemed to explode in my chest. Bella was in my arms and in my life, and I was going to keep her there. My only hope at the moment was that she understood how happy she made me.

"I love you the way you are."

She kissed my neck, and we lay quietly like that for a while.

"Hey," she said, suddenly scrambling up. "I have an idea." I followed her to the small kitchen, where she took out a frying pan and began removing things from the refrigerator. "I'm going to cook you breakfast."

Perhaps I had another hope as well— that Bella would never stop surprising me.

"Sit down," she ordered. I watched, mystified, as she fried an egg, prepared a slice of buttered toast, and poured orange juice. She set the plate and cup in front of me and then took the seat across the table. "Lovely," she pronounced.

"Do you want me to eat this?"

"Shhh," she cautioned. She reached across the table and moved the plate in front of her. She ate the toast and cut up the egg, taking one bite. "Now watch." She poured the juice back into the container, leaving the cup appearing as if it had been used. She slid the egg into the garbage disposal, but left the dirty plate and silverware in the sink. "Didn't you have a good breakfast?" she asked with a satisfied smile.

"Very well done. Now you're thinking like a Cullen."

She came around the table to sit on my lap. "Did I ever tell you," I began, but I was distracted by the thoughts and movement I heard in the other room. "Renee's awake," I informed her. Bella ran to embrace her mother as she emerged from the hallway.

"Good morning, Mom! We woke up early. Edward was hungry so I made him some breakfast. But I didn't have anything. I thought I'd eat with you."

"Good morning, both of you," Renee responded with a smile. _Bella, Bella, Bella. My little girl is so beautiful. _She moved to the counter, and now there was only one thing in her thoughts.

"Bella," I said. "Why don't you make a pot of coffee?"

"Only if you're drinking it, Edward," Renee said. "I'd kill for a cup of coffee, but I'm avoiding caffeine. I switched to herbal tea, but it isn't the same."

Bella flashed me a look. "Edward doesn't like coffee. He just thought you might want some."

Visions of steaming cups of coffee still danced in Renee's head, but apparently I'd gone a bit too far trying to ingratiate myself.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Phil was out of the shower, Renee and Bella had left for brunch at River City Brewing. I had dressed in workout gear and put some casual clothes for later into a backpack. _Very snazzy_, thought Phil, appraising my outfit. It was not a compliment. _Have those clothes ever been worn?_ His gaze dropped to my shoes. _At least his sneakers are broken in._

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded, remembering the heated discussion I'd had with Alice. She had a whole new wardrobe packed for my trip. I pointed out that it wasn't normal to wear new clothes all the time. She began to argue that's what we always did. I barely owned anything that had been worn before, because she replaced our clothes so quickly. I suggested that she distress the clothes, but she refused. I should have insisted or done the job myself.

Phil's mind was on the playoff games as we drove to the school. We chatted about his expectations in the tournament and the upcoming major league season. The locker room was filled with members of Phil's team, and they were all very tense.

"This is Edward. He's visiting from Washington state. He's dating my wife's daughter," Phil explained. _The boys are looking pretty nervous. I'd better have a word with Jack. Can't have him falling apart._ The kids were preoccupied with the day ahead and not particularly interested in me, but some stray thoughts flitted through their minds. _Boy is he pale. He needs to get out in the sun. He's in good shape. Wonder how much he can bench press. _

We headed for the field and Phil led us in stretches and calisthenics. He ordered us to jog around the perimeter. The boys wondered how fast I was and wanted to test themselves against me. I positioned myself just behind the small group of leaders. I wouldn't undermine their confidence by beating them, but I didn't want to do too badly in front of the man I hoped was my future stepfather-in-law.

Slowly we circled the field. I was used to running at a human pace in gym class, but that didn't mean it was easy, or that I liked it. I had to concentrate to keep a steady, measured stride and not accelerate. Containing myself was especially aggravating now, after more than twenty-four hours with no relief in sight. We Cullens prided ourselves on our ability to be accepted in human society. I hadn't realized until now how carefully limited our exposure was. We spent the better part of every day and every week being ourselves.

Phil approved of my style. _Edward's got _g_ood form, _he thought. _He should run cross country or enter a marathon, maybe. He's not even breaking a sweat. _Oops. My gym teachers were never so observant. How was I going to fake perspiration?

The boys were clustered around a cooler of ice water, re-hydrating after the run. A couple of them poured cups of water over their heads to cool off, and I copied them. Problem solved.

"Edward, do you think you can help me out?"

"Of course. What can I do?"

"My pitchers need to warm up. I'm going to work with Dave. Can you catch for Josh?" He indicated a tall, well-built blond boy and handed me a catcher's mitt.

Josh's first pitch was blazing fast and slammed into the mitt with a resounding smack. His thoughts were loud and clear. I sighed inwardly and gave him what he wanted. I pulled my hand out of the glove and shook it.

"Wow, that stings," I commented.

"Sorry," he said, insincerely.

"You've got a great arm." His mind radiated smug satisfaction.

Phil had been monitoring his player. _So Josh is showing off. Why am I not surprised._ "Josh, this is a warm-up. Start slow and save the heat for the game."

"OK, coach." _I proved my point._

We completed the exercise, and the team gathered to review strategy for their first opponent of the day. Before joining them, Phil spoke to me as I left to shower and change. "Thanks for helping out." He paused and gave me a penetrating look. "You didn't really have trouble catching for Josh, did you?"

I wasn't sure what the right answer was. He was picturing the interaction in his mind, but I couldn't tell whether Josh or I or both of us were destined for trouble. I said nothing.

He grinned and clapped me on the shoulder. "I didn't think so. Have fun with the girls!" _Edward's a good athlete _and_ a really good sport. Bella could do a lot worse._

"Thanks!" The compliment made me feel so great that the response just spilled out. Luckily, he had no way of realizing I was answering his thoughts, not his words.

* * *

_Author's Note: It was hard for me to develop this chapter. I don't know how boys and men act by themselves! But Bella and Renee are on their way to pick up Edward so I'll be back on more comfortable territory in the next chapter! _


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews and favorites! Please don't stop. It makes me so happy._

* * *

I heard Renee's mind before the car was in sight. The radio was playing in the background, and she was concentrating on the road. I smiled to myself. I could see how Bella had acquired her extremely conservative driving habits. I wondered if I would ever teach her to enjoy speeding.

I climbed into the back seat. The car was full of Bella's heavenly scent. The moisture in the air made it especially intense. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My throat was dry and hot, of course, but the rest of my body was tingling from the exciting fragrance. The impact was overwhelming, like plunging into a whirlpool.

"Do you think that's a good idea, Edward?" Renee asked.

My eyes snapped open. Apparently, I had failed to attend to the conversation.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Bella turned to look at me in surprise. She expected me to be ahead of the curve, not completely out of it. I nodded, trying to reassure her that I had everything under control. She was still frowning slightly.

"We're going to the grocery store," she explained. "I want to cook dinner for everyone tonight."

"That sounds great," I replied. _Get a grip_, I admonished myself. _Play your part. What would a normal, doting boyfriend say?_ "I love your cooking."

She rolled her eyes and faced forward again.

Bella decided to make enchiladas. Renee had some other items on her list, and we started in the produce section. Renee examined the bananas, and I held a bag open for Bella as she selected apples. One of them slipped from her grasp, but I grabbed it before it hit the floor and held it out to her. She reached for it, but her eyes slid over to Renee. _He's so quick. _Yes, Renee had noticed, and my save had reminded her of the glass from the night before. _But it's more than that. He can catch what she drops because he's always _watching_ her. _

Bella placed the apple into the bag. "Thanks," she said, trying to sound off-hand.

We finished the shopping without further incident, but Renee was very thoughtful. _I've just been enjoying Bella, but I need to study her. She seems happy, but is he really good for her? _She intended to observe us closely. My behavior was provoking suspicion. I supposed I could have let the glass and the apple fall. But then, Bella was accustomed to my rescuing her from such mishaps. She might have expressed surprise. We weren't used to having an audience to our interactions, let alone such a shrewd and attentive one.

* * *

Back at the apartment, Renee prepared a simple lunch. Clearly, I was not going to be able to dodge the bullet any longer. I bit into my sandwich with a smile.

"This is delicious. Thank you, Renee."

Bella's eyes widened slightly, but she made no comment.

I offered to clean up after our meal, but Renee sent us out of the kitchen. In the living room, I picked up a framed photograph of Bella as a little girl wearing a white leotard. Her eyes were the same rich chocolate brown and held the same sparkle. I wished I had known Bella every day of her life.

"I was eight years old then. It was the holiday recital, and we were snowflakes."

"Snowflakes are perfect and unique, and so are you," I told her quietly. I set the photograph back on the table. I wanted to pull her close to me and kiss her, but I had to settle for holding her hands and looking deeply into her eyes. She could sense my passionate interest. Her heart beat faster, and her breath became uneven. She was swaying slightly, about to fall into my arms.

"Bella," I said quickly. "Do you have any more childhood photographs?"

"Yes, I have lots," said Renee, walking over to us.

"I'd love to see them."

Bella bent down to pull the photo albums from the shelf. She spoke very softly, so that only I could hear. "Stop dazzling me!"

But she smiled as she straightened up and handed me two thick albums. She wasn't angry, just a bit chagrined at being so susceptible to my gaze. I smiled back. If she preferred to keep her wits about her, I would refrain from making her dizzy. But I loved knowing that I could.

Renee and Bella sat on either side of me as we paged through the albums. I worried that Renee would notice my unusual body temperature, but the apartment was air-conditioned. She wasn't troubled. Her head was full of memories. Every photo was absolutely captivating to me. Charlie had Bella's school portraits on his wall, but Renee's album held dozens of adorable poses and charming expressions, and her mind reflected the circumstances of many of the photographs. I could have spent an hour studying each page. I'd have to settle for recalling the images later.

"Edward, do you have pictures of yourself as a child?" _So handsome. What did he look like as a baby?_

I felt Bella tense up beside me.

"No," I answered calmly. "I'm lucky that I have a few family heirlooms. But no pictures."

"How old were you when you were adopted? Do you remember your parents?" _Bella told me about his past, but I'd like to hear it from him._

"Mom, maybe Edward doesn't want to talk about it." Bella sounded uneasy.

"It's OK, Bella. I don't really remember my parents. It doesn't upset me."

Renee listened in fascination as I told her my usual story. She wanted to know all about my brothers and sisters. She had met Alice and Carlisle in Phoenix, but not the others. I monitored her thoughts carefully, alert for any sign that she doubted my words. Her mind held no skepticism, only respect and admiration for my parents and compassion for me and my siblings for being orphaned or abandoned by our birth families. I was relieved that she harbored no misgivings about my background, but I also felt guilty. I didn't deserve her sympathy. I was deceiving her in so many ways. But I had no choice.

Renee sat back and let Bella narrate some of the more recent photographs, from just before she moved to Forks. She was still thinking about me. _On the surface he seems so serene, so self-assured. But he's been through a tough experience. He didn't have a sheltered childhood either. That can make a person very vigilant. Maybe it's a good thing he and Bella found each other._


	7. Chapter 7

By now, the sun had emerged. Alice was never wrong about such things.

"Are you sure you don't want to go down to the pool?" Renee asked again. She was ready to spend the rest of the afternoon outdoors. _I want them to have a great time here. _

"No, thank you. I have a term paper to write, and I need to use the computer."

"Go ahead, Mom," said Bella. "I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

"OK, but if you get done, please come and join us, Edward!"

As soon as the door closed, I swept Bella into my arms.

"Renee's waiting. Let me go change," she said, laughing.

I obeyed, but I stared into her eyes as I slid my hands slowly from her face down her neck to her shoulders and along her arms. I kept my gaze locked on hers as I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed them before releasing her. She didn't move.

"Bella, you wanted to change," I prompted her gently.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" she breathed.

"I know what I want to do to you."

"I wish! But my mother is waiting." She sighed as she went to her room and shut the door firmly.

My thoughts on the impossible softness of her skin were interrupted when I heard the door open. My eyes widened, and my whole body was jolted by what I saw. It felt like catching the scent of a lion or bear on a hunt. All my senses were heightened and focused. Bella was standing before me in her swimsuit. My prey… but it wasn't desire for blood that possessed me.

"You look beautiful," I gasped.

She blushed, increasing her allure even further. I'd spent countless marvelous hours kissing and caressing her, but in cool, rainy Forks I'd never had an opportunity to see her like this.

"Really? You think so?"

"Bella, how can you ask? You've dazzled me, completely." I fell to my knees in front of her and pressed my lips to her hands again. "Now go, or I won't be able to let you out of my sight."

She giggled as she left. She didn't seem to grasp that I was serious. I lay down on the couch to recover my equilibrium. I closed my eyes and listened for Renee. The pool was bathed in golden sunshine, but only a few people lounged by its side. Renee was still waiting for her daughter. Both of us were thinking about Bella_. I thought she was just going to Forks for a couple of years. In my mind it was just another trip to visit Charlie, just a little bit longer than usual. She wanted to spend time with her father, and it was a lot easier for me to travel with Phil that way. I thought when I saw her again, she'd be the same. Now I see how foolish that was. She's not a book that I can pick up where I left off. Children are always growing, even the ones who were already so grown up. _

"Hi, Mom!" Bella bounced into view. She lay down on the chaise and began applying sunscreen to her face, her arms, her legs. Romeo's words came to mind. _Oh that I were a glove upon that hand.._. I didn't like to admit how much I had in common with him, but at the moment, I was also watching my love from afar.

Renee was still assessing Bella. _When we lived in Phoenix she had no interest in boys. She knew all about my mistake. She knew that love and good intentions don't always mean you're doing the right thing. Besides, Forks is so… small and provincial. Who there could interest my smart, level-headed daughter? I thought she might meet someone in college. It didn't happen that way. Being with Edward changed her, and losing him affected her even more deeply. _I winced. I hated to be reminded of my mistake. Love and good intentions didn't mean what I did was right.

_She's so aware of him. She watches him all the time, and she won't let him get too far away. She'll move or turn towards him so she's close again. A teenaged girl behaving like that with a boy…I would have judged her and said it wasn't healthy or appropriate. But he is the same way. He's just as enthralled with her as she is with him. _

Renee was surprisingly perceptive.

_I wanted her to wait. I wanted her to do more and see more before giving her heart and soul away. Will he treasure her? _I wanted to reassure her that Bella would be the light of my existence long after every building in Jacksonville had crumbled to dust, but I knew I couldn't show that I was aware of her concerns. _My daughter thinks for herself. She is so strong and so wise. She chose him. Can I trust her? _I chided myself for my presumption. Why would the promises of a boy she barely knew matter to Renee? This issue was between Bella and her mother. I couldn't smooth things over and make everything right this time.

I left off listening for Renee as my own thoughts began to preoccupy me. A boy she barely knew. _I'd like to hear it from him_. _Was_ it purely between Bella and her mother? Was there something I should do to help Renee accept our relationship? I had come to Jacksonville determined to play a part for Renee and Phil. There was so much about myself that I had to hide. But maybe I had to give her something real along with all the pretense.

I called Alice. I needed to feel that I was doing something.

"Why are you calling me?" she asked in an exasperated tone.

"How is everything?" I demanded.

"Everything is fine, which you know perfectly well, because I would have contacted you if there were a problem."

"I'm sorry, Alice. I trust you. You know that. I'm just…extremely tense."

"Please, please try to relax. You don't want Bella to notice there's something on your mind, do you? We are going to take care of things here. I will text you, just like we planned, when there's news. You only need to take care of things on your end. And I don't mean anything in particular. Now, do you mind if we say goodbye? I'm busy. Wait till you see what I've done to the entranceway. I just _know_ you'll love it."

"Thanks," I said, but she had already ended the call. She was right. There were things I should take care of, now while I was alone in the apartment. I cleared the food I'd eaten from my body, and I opened a file containing a partial draft of my term paper on the computer. I had a completed version ready for the next day. My strategy was inspired by the cooking shows I'd been watching. The chef had the same dish in various stages of preparation, so that a finished product could be displayed to the camera within the allotted time. I quickly clicked through a series of websites on my topic. I doubted Renee or Phil would check the browser history. But if they did, it would look exactly as it should.


	8. Chapter 8

Phil arrived just before dinner was ready. He was in high spirits. His team had won both games, which meant they were in tomorrow's final.

"Thank you for cooking dinner for us," said Renee again._ This is a very special night, being with the people I love best._

"It looks great," said Phil. _Renee is so happy to have Bella here. I love to see her like this. And my team did great. I am a lucky man._

Bella served the enchiladas. She gave me a very small portion.

"This is delicious," said Phil. _It's better than Renee's. Can I say that, or would it upset her? _"It's similar to your mother's recipe, but not exactly the same."

Bella smiled and blushed slightly. "I used to make it the way Mom does, but I've been experimenting a little bit. I added a new ingredient."

"You have to tell me the secret," said Renee. "This is better than mine." _Bella is so amazing. I must have done something right._

Phil said nothing, but his thoughts were pleased. He wanted to talk sports. "You seem like a really good athlete, Edward. Ever consider baseball or basketball?"

"My family plays baseball together sometimes. That's a lot of fun. But I really prefer running or hiking, being out in nature."

"You're very coordinated. I'll bet you could walk on in college if you wanted to."

"Thanks. It's good to have options."

Renee asked about our college plans. She wanted us to consider the University of Florida, and she was dismayed that the University of Alaska was under consideration.

"What happened to my sunflower?" she said. _Alaska is so far._

"I like the cold now," Bella assured her mother, smiling at me. "If you have a warm coat and good boots, winter can be really beautiful."

"It always seemed kind of dreary to me." Anytime Renee remembered Forks, she pictured freezing rain.

"Well, yes, I know what you mean. Winter can drag on," Bella admitted. "But that just makes us want to visit you and get some sunshine."

"Absolutely," I agreed. I paused. The conversation was at a crossroads. I could lay low and say nothing, or I could take a risk and try to address some of Renee's unspoken thoughts.

"There's something I'd like to say." Bella stared at me, but Renee and Phil wore expressions of warm interest.

"Of course, Edward."

"I'm afraid that you might think Bella's changed a lot since she met me and that maybe I influence her too much."

Bella frowned. "That's not true." But Renee wasn't so sure. _I certainly never thought I'd hear her says she _likes_ the cold._

"I want you to know that meeting Bella is the best thing that ever happened to me. I've changed so much because of her. Before we met, I was… sort of a loner. I enjoyed being with my brothers and sisters, but I didn't really feel comfortable around other kids. That's another reason I don't play team sports."

Renee nodded. _Poor boy. Losing your parents is an awful trauma, even though he says he doesn't remember._

"My family all say that I'm very different since Bella came into my life. I'm happier and more relaxed. My world has opened up."

Renee squeezed Bella's hand. "She is very special, isn't she?"_ He's really crazy about her._

Bella blushed. "Mom, Phil, would you like more enchiladas?" she asked, trying to change the subject. Phil and Renee both asked for seconds. Bella cut servings for them and placed the food on their plates. She didn't offer me any.

"May I please have some more? It's so good."

She looked at me with wide eyes. I nodded very slightly.

"Really? OK. I mean, of course." She gave me another portion, but she was flustered.

"Thank you." I looked at her intently, trying to reassure her and encourage her to calm down. Instead, she knocked her fork to the floor. It was too far away from me. I let it fall. She glanced over to me frequently as I cleaned my plate.

Once again Renee refused my offer to clean up the kitchen. She and Phil insisted on doing the work. Bella and I sat on the couch holding hands.

"Why did you eat so much?" she whispered.

"It's all part of my cover."

"Was it terrible?"

"I love your cooking, sweetheart."

"Be serious!" she chided me, dropping my hand and hitting me lightly on the chest.

"I _would_ love it, if I could taste it properly. And I wish I could." I put my arm around her and pulled her closer. Renee and Phil were still busy washing up and chatting. "I wish I could kiss you without being afraid of cutting you or poisoning you, and I wish I could enjoy the food you prepare. Everyone says how good it is. Feeding someone is a way of showing love, and I wish I could experience your love that way."

"You fed on my blood."

"Yes." Even the memory made me shiver with delight.

"But you can't do that all the time, so I guess I'll have to show you my love some other way. Hmmm," she pretended to think. I chuckled. "Yes, I have some ideas. I think if you come to my room later, I'll have something to show you."

My preference for Bella's blood over her enchiladas had just proved, once again, that I was far from human. But when I thought about what she might have in mind, I felt more human than ever.

* * *

_Author's Note: So, Edward ate dinner and he opened up a bit to Renee and Phil. Until this point he was sort of playing defense and just trying to respond to everything appropriately. Then he realized it wasn't enough, you can't really get anywhere that way and he has to put himself out there. What do you think? By the way, d__on't worry, I'll tell you all about what happens when Edward goes to Bella's bedroom!_


	9. Chapter 9

The guest bed was a double, but Bella was pressed as close to me as if we were sharing the single bed in her room in Forks. Phil and Renee were asleep, for the moment at least.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I murmured into Bella's ear.

"Don't you want to?" She pretended to pout.

"You know what I mean. What if they catch us?"

"Honestly, I can't imagine Renee would be surprised. Or that upset, especially since you won't get under the covers with me. But you'll make sure they don't. Now kiss me," she commanded.

I was all too eager to comply. It had been far too many hours since I'd felt her body next to mine. I was hungry for the taste and heat of her mouth on my lips. She gasped as I leaned into her and used my body to push her onto her back. Lying carefully on top of her, I kissed her until she had to turn her head away to breathe. I didn't break contact with her skin. I kissed her jaw, her neck and her eyelids. When I thought she'd taken in enough oxygen, I moved back to her mouth. The hot, soft texture of her lips moving against mine was intoxicating. She had to pull away again. She was panting. Her heart was pounding. I ran my tongue along her collarbone, careful not to let my teeth touch her.

"Edward," she moaned. That sound! My name in her voice, filled with emotion from my touch. It went straight to my heart. I was charged with energy. I wanted to rip away all the barriers between us and kiss her everywhere. Anything to hear that sound again.

It was too much. I had to move away. She reached out to keep me close, but I gently trapped her hands at the wrist, holding them against her body. When I knew she understood, I let go, and we lay on our backs side by side, catching our breath.

We spoke the same words at the same time: "I'm sorry."

We both laughed. At this moment, we were completely in harmony.

"Go ahead," I said. "But you have nothing to be sorry for. I won't let you apologize for being so beautiful and desirable."

"I always get too excited. I'm not trying to push your limits. Not tonight, anyway."

"Your reactions are natural. I love that about you. It's my fault. My natural reactions would put you in the hospital, and the only way I can control them is to stop."

"Someday you won't be able to hurt me, and we won't have to stop."

"Now you _are_ trying to push me."

"Maybe a little." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"That's enough for tonight. Or, it's not enough, but it's all I can handle. Do you think you can go to sleep now?"

"Will you stay with me, please? Not the whole night. I know it's safer for you to be where you're supposed to be. Just until I fall asleep."

I rearranged our positions so that her back was towards me. I put my arms around her and pulled her close.

"I'll sing your song in a minute," I whispered in her ear. "Can we just talk for a little bit? I want to tell you something. I'm so happy we came here. Your mother is important to you, such a big part of your life before you came to Forks. Spending time with the two of you helps me to know you better. It's still so strange for me, so frustrating sometimes. The only one on earth who matters to me is the only one whose mind is closed to me. I need all the clues I can get."

"It's wonderful to see Renee. And being here with you, it helps me to know _you_ better. You're different here. It's another side of you. You're not in your element."

"That's for sure."

"You're doing great, though. They don't suspect anything, do they?"

"No. Renee is just worried that we're too wrapped up in each other. I can't help that. I can walk slowly and eat food and ignore everyone's thoughts, but I can't pretend that you're not everything to me. I wouldn't know how."

"Me neither. I love you so much."

Her heartbeat and breathing were slowing down. She was getting sleepy. At this moment, I felt perfectly content.

"I love you, Bella. You're the most precious thing in the universe to me."

She snuggled closer to me, and I hummed her lullaby until she fell asleep.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the great reviews! _


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: I'm truly overjoyed at the response to the previous chapter. I really love that chapter, but I was worried that people might not be pleased because it's short and it's yet another love scene. I'm so happy that people liked it._

* * *

It was nearly dawn when my phone vibrated to signal a new text message. Even before I read it, my body was on high alert.

"Emmett says hi!"

Victoria had come. As I pressed the buttons to contact Alice, powerful emotions surged through me. Searing, towering rage that she had challenged us, that she had dared to come take my love away. Gratitude that she had never had a chance of succeeding. Bella slept just a few yards from me, completely unaware of the threat. Her exquisite scent and the steady sound of her heartbeat confirmed her nearness.

I felt grim satisfaction that my family had destroyed her, eliminated the danger to what I treasured most. I felt envy that she had died at other hands than mine. I felt no anxiety about the safety of my loved ones, nor any doubt that they had killed Victoria. My brothers, my whole family, were so strong.

"We're all perfectly fine," Alice began.

"And?"

"She got away." Shock and disappointment coursed through my system, but the dominant feeling was still anger. Only now it was directed at my sister.

"How could you let this happen?" I spoke very quietly, careful not to disturb anyone. But Alice could hear the full extent of my fury.

"I know. I know you're upset. So are we. Please be careful. You're about to rip that pillow to shreds."

I looked down in surprise to discover I was gripping one of the couch pillows very tightly. I carefully uncurled my fingers. I sat up, placed the pillow gently on the floor and gave it a little pat to fluff it up.

"OK. I'm OK now. The pillow is fine. Thank you. Now tell me everything." I paced back and forth as I listened to her explanation.

"Those dogs!" I exploded when she mentioned that the werewolves were involved. My voice was too loud, but fortunately nobody in the apartment was disturbed.

"Edward, please. Let me finish, and then you can say whatever you want." She continued to fill me in on the details of the encounter.

"If it weren't for the wolves, you would have had her," I stated flatly.

"Yes, maybe, but if it weren't for us, they probably would have had her."

"They protect the community by hindering us, attacking us?"

"Be reasonable, Edward. You're angry because she's still out there. We all feel the same, including the pack. They understand how dangerous she is to humans. We are all frustrated."

I took a deep breath. I had been certain I would hear what I longed to hear-- that it was all over. But we were no worse off. She had gained nothing. "I'm sorry. None of this is your fault. I wish I could have been there. Maybe I could have heard the wolves. I don't even know if I _can_ hear them. Maybe I could have heard her plans."

"But you were taking care of Bella. That is what you need to do, what we need you to do. She is having a good time with her mother, I can see that."

"Yes, it's amazing to be with Renee," I confided. "You know, the connections in our family are extremely strong. But a biological bond and a parent-child relationship from infancy— it's different. Very powerful. Renee and Bella are similar in many ways. They are so attached. Being here helps me understand Bella more and appreciate her even more. Alice, can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I can't talk to anyone else about this."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," she assured me.

"We all know how Rosalie and Esme feel about having children. But Bella has always said she doesn't mind giving that up. And what I worried about most was her soul, not her chance to be a mother."

"That makes sense," she said encouragingly. "Sometimes human women can't get pregnant, and they accept it."

"But now I've spent more time with Renee, and I've absorbed all her thoughts about Bella. I can see, feel, hear the joy and the love. Just thinking about Bella gives her so much happiness. For the first time I really understand what Bella would be losing, and I _hate_ the thought of taking that away from her. I'll always know what I cost her."

Alice was quiet for a moment.

"You and I have gifts that can be hard to live with," she said at length. "The things we see and hear can make our lives, our family's lives so much easier. They can also make our own lives harder. We have access to information that can be very painful for us. Sometimes we know what could have been in a way other people can't, a way that's so real. Sometimes I can see something I want so badly. Then the vision will change, and not having it is many times worse than if I'd never known it was possible. But people have to make their own decisions. Knowing the future is not the same as controlling it. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I'm not used to speaking to you only in words," she added petulantly.

"Yes. But I don't like it."

"You'll just have to love her so much she'll never know she's missing anything."

"You know I will try." I exhaled. I hadn't known what I was missing until Alice and Jasper joined our family. It was a deep relief and comfort to be with others who had similar talents.

"We all will. Jasper wants me now, but I am still checking on you, and I'm looking out for Victoria. She hasn't decided on her next move, but Jasper thinks all of us really spooked her. She won't be back for a while."

"Thank you, Alice. Thank you for listening. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry your gift is hard sometimes. I'm very grateful for it because it kept Bella safe tonight. I owe you."

"And I'll figure out a way for you to repay me!" she laughed, and we ended the call.


	11. Chapter 11

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! Your enthusiasm for this story means so much to me._

* * *

Phil left early to meet his team for the championship game. He held out his hand for me to shake, and when I took it, he pulled me into a hug. "Great meeting you, Edward. Best of luck with everything." He wrapped Bella in his arms. "Keep in touch," he whispered to her. _What a super pair of kids._

At breakfast, Renee was preoccupied with our imminent departure. She didn't notice that I rearranged my food instead of eating it. But even while I was successfully hiding my inhuman physiology, there was another part of me I had to show her—my human feelings.

I took a deep breath. "Renee, there is something else I want to talk to you about." They waited for me to speak.

"You must be wondering," I began. In fact, Renee was not wondering, not at the moment. She didn't know where my words were leading, and neither did Bella. But I felt I had to say them. "If I am so happy being with Bella, why did I break up with her?"

Now they reacted. Renee remembered Bella's deep distress. And Bella's expression contracted in pain.

"Edward, it's OK," she said. "You don't have to explain. I've already told them. It was a misunderstanding, and it was awful for both of us, and I forgave you."

"I know you forgave me. But what I did, I think it hurt your parents too, to see you so upset."

"Edward, you don't have to—" Renee began, but I interrupted.

"Please let me say this." She nodded. Once again, there was no way I could tell the whole truth, or even nothing but the truth. But I had to give her some truth. "You know my father got a job offer in Los Angeles. I thought I should decide what was best for Bella under the circumstances. I thought that she deserved better than a long-distance boyfriend. I thought she would get over me and find someone else, and it would be easier for both of us if that happened sooner rather than later."

Bella' expression was troubled. I reached for her hand.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know you don't want to be reminded. But I need to tell Renee how I feel about it. Because if I were your mother, I don't think I could like or trust someone who hurt you the way I did."

I turned back to Renee. "What I did was very wrong. It was wrong to take away Bella's decision. It was very wrong to lie to her. I never stopped loving her, but I thought it would help her move on if she believed I had never really loved her at all."

_My poor baby. She was so devastated. Charlie and I didn't know what to do._

"I was so happy when my parents decided to return to Forks. I was only worried that I had ruined everything between Bella and me. But she has a very generous heart, and she forgave me. Breaking up with her was very stupid and destructive, but I learned that Bella should decide what she wants to happen in her life. And I learned that it really didn't work for me to be apart from her. So now I am going to be with her as long as she'll have me."

"Always," said Bella very softly, for my ears only.

I looked into Renee's eyes. "I'm so sorry that I hurt Bella. I learned from it, but that still doesn't make what I did a good thing. I can't promise I'll never hurt her again, because people make mistakes. But I do promise that I'll always listen to her and I'll always be honest with her."

"I learned from it too." Bella rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. She spoke quietly as she looked down at the table. "Edward just said he thought I deserved better than him. I used to think that he deserved better than me, and when he left, that just proved I was right. But when he came back, I realized that I did make him happy. I used to be afraid of losing him. I even expected that someday I would. Then I did lose him, and it was pretty bad. But we're together again, and I'm not afraid anymore."

Renee was mulling things over, replaying my words in her head. I'd given her a lot to think about. _It was really brave of him to say all that. He's right. She told me that she forgave him, but I didn't. I've been half waiting for him to drop her again._

"Edward, it's my turn to say something to you. I want to thank you for everything that you said, last night and just now. You're very important to Bella, and as her mother I can't help worrying. Maybe you and I are alike that way. We want Bella to be happy, and we might think sometimes that we know better than she does how that should happen. I really appreciate having the chance to know you better. I have to say I'm impressed that you can be so open about your feelings. Most boys, most teenagers aren't like that."

"Well, Edward isn't most teenagers, and neither am I."

"No, you aren't. I know that," Renee agreed. "Listen, it's beautiful out. How about going for a walk along the beach?"

"Sure, Mom. I would love that." Her beautiful smile and the tears still sparkling in her eyes sent a wave of emotion through me. My dearest wish was for her to be safe and happy with me, and I was making it happen.

"That sounds great, but I should probably stay here and finish my paper."


	12. Chapter 12

_Author's Note: I published this final chapter on my birthday. And for my birthday I asked for Robert Pattinson! But if that wasn't possible, reviews! Thanks so much for all your support along the way!_

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My heart leaped when Bella emerged from the restroom and came over to where I sat at the airport gate. She had gone to wash her face after the tearful farewell with Renee. Anytime she was out of my sight, I could visualize her perfectly, but that was never the same as having her before my eyes. Seeing her pale skin, colored by the blood underneath, hearing the beating heart inside her alluring body, interpreting the vibrant expressions on her lovely face was completely captivating.

The seats in the airport lounge had armrests that helped travelers maintain some personal space. I didn't want to maintain any personal space with Bella, so we sat side by side on the floor with our backs against the wall. At least this way I could feel the side of her body right next to mine.

"What happened during your walk on the beach?" I asked. This was our first chance to talk it over. I picked up her hand and held it with both of mine on my lap.

"You tell me."

"Well, Renee is feeling more comfortable with me and our relationship now. What did you say to her?"

She was silent for a moment. Her brow creased in distress. "Edward, I feel awful."

"Bella!" My heart clenched. "What's wrong? Please tell me."

"I had to, I don't know," she stammered. She took a deep breath and rested her head on my shoulder. "I didn't lie to her, exactly. I tried to just sort of redirect her thinking. But really, I've been lying to her the whole time about how I feel about you. How we feel about each other." She tilted her head to kiss my neck. "Like you said, she was worried that we're so connected."

"And you denied it?" If she felt she had not been true to me in some way, I was confident I could fix that.

"I didn't know what to say. Everything she said is true. But I could tell she didn't want it to be true. She thought it was extreme and, you know, not appropriate. She was uneasy. She wanted me to downplay our relationship, so I did." Bella sounded miserable.

"So, you are unhappy because you feel you can't be open with her?"

"Yes, that's part of it. It's so many things." Her voice rose in frustration. "We used to be so close. I wouldn't have been able to lie to her. The fact that I succeeded just shows the distance between us. Why did that happen? Is it just because I moved away? Or is it because I've been trying to pretend that you're an ordinary boyfriend? Did I push her away by doing that? And then, why do I have to pretend? Why can't she accept and be happy that the most amazing person loves me and I love him? _Your_ parents seem thrilled that we met. I don't know. I loved seeing her and Phil, and I was just having a good time, but then I felt I had to _manage_ her. All of a sudden I wasn't just being with her. I was manipulating her. Do you know what I mean?" She sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't complain. You were so great. You put up with everything. You ate my enchiladas. You said I've changed you. You apologized to Renee for hurting me! You made it sound like you were kind of flaky when the truth is you suffered so much because you were trying to do the right thing for me. You are the most perfect--"

"Bella!" I wanted to let her speak and spill out everything that was on her mind, but I had to stop her.

"What?" She seemed startled by my interruption.

"Please, please, please, if you love me, do not be sorry for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me." I lifted her chin and kissed her softly. "Ever. OK?"

I could detect uncertainty in the tightness around her eyes.

"And I don't want you to shower me with praise for my conduct. I have a confession to make," I told her. She nodded apprehensively. "When we started this trip, I was determined to make everything go smoothly, and the person who I was counting on to help me was Alice."

She frowned slightly.

"We all rely on Alice to preview our lives for us. I'm a Cullen. That's how we make it work. They depend on me to monitor the present, and we depend on her to monitor the future." I paused to check her expression. She wasn't sure where my words were leading. "I wanted to shelter you from my responsibilities. I felt it was my job alone to blend in and to try to charm your parents. I wanted you to just have fun. But I can see now that was wrong. I shouldn't have tried to orchestrate a carefree weekend for you and do everything else on my own, just with Alice's help, leaving you out of all that. Because you and I are in this together."

She let out a breath and seemed to relax. I jumped to my feet and pulled her up. "We still have time. I'll make sure we don't miss the flight. Let me take you somewhere more private to talk."

Her expression brightened immediately. "Really?" she asked eagerly.

"Well, it's not actually private. This is an airport. But it's better than here." I led her to the far end of the terminal, where there was an unused gate. No agents were at the desk and no passengers were scattered around the lounge. I sat down on the floor again and arranged her on my lap. Anyone who came along the corridor would see us, but we were alone for the present, and of course I'd have warning if someone approached.

"Now, where were we?" I began. She kissed me. Automatically I pulled her closer. So delicious, so soft, so dizzying, so distracting. I shook my head and slid my hands to her shoulders to gently push her away.

"Wrong answer," I said. She lifted an eyebrow. "We were talking about this trip and our relationship and your mother."

"Edward," she said tenderly, leaning against my chest. "You said we are in this together. That makes me so happy. That's what I want forever."

"Forever," I promised. "But that means sharing our concerns. I didn't do that with you, and I'm sorry. If I had, you might have been more prepared for the part you had to play."

"I should have realized. I shouldn't have gotten upset at having to do something that you have to do all the time. I want you to be able to count on me. It just that I didn't expect, with Renee…" Her voice trailed off.

"It bothers you to hide the truth from her in particular," I guessed. She nodded.

"I understand. My whole life is a lie, except when I'm with you or my family. Everything about me is a lie. Even my appearance. People find me attractive, and that's just a mechanism to lure in my prey. People think I look fairly normal, and that's just because I don't let them see me in the sunlight. I have to hide my abilities. There has to be distance. There has to be deception. I accepted all that a long time ago. But it's difficult and even sickening to lie to someone you care about. That's how I felt when we first met. It's not pleasant or easy to play a part when you want the person to know you. I didn't like telling Renee my fake history. But it is very necessary."

"I know. It's not the lying so much as what I had to lie about. I have no impulse to tell her about vampires. I'm fine with keeping that secret. But I don't want to lie about our love." She was relaxing in my arms. How amazing. Our conversation was soothing her troubled spirits as effectively as Jasper could.

"OK. Here's what I think about that. I've read thousands of love stories. I'm familiar with movies, plays, songs, everything. But before I fell in love with you, I didn't know, I couldn't know what any of it meant. Some of those stories seemed extreme to me, until I knew exactly what they were talking about. She and Phil love each other, that is very clear to me, but it's not the same. If you don't understand these feelings, our relationship might very well seem frightening and baffling."

"Why frightening?"

"Bella, right now we're happy because we're together. But there was a time when we weren't together, and either of us could easily have died trying to stop the pain of that. We both had narrow escapes. It's a huge risk to need someone this much. Your mother is right to worry."

"Edward." I could never get tired of hearing her say my name. In her voice those two familiar syllables were infused with love.

"Yes?" My answer would always be yes.

"You are helping me so much."

"That's what I'm here for." I tightened my arms around her.

"So can I have another kiss?" She looked up at me pleadingly. There was no chance that I'd refuse.

"Yes, but I'm not through talking to you," I added quickly. She covered my mouth with hers. I felt her tongue sweep over my upper lip. My mouth fell open slightly in response and I let out a shaky breath. Every little thing she did made me want to grab her, to feel her skin under my hands and my lips. For once, she pulled away first.

"Thank you," she whispered. "You can keep talking now."

"After that?" I chuckled. "Were we talking?"

She wore an enchanting smile. "Yes, you were making me feel better."

"And you insist on my using words to make you feel better?"

She giggled. "Yes," she said emphatically. "Finish what you wanted to say. And then we'll see."

To amuse her I had pretended to be unaware we'd been having a conversation, but I truly couldn't seem to bring the most recent interchange to mind. "Honestly, love, I don't remember."

She laughed. "I made you forget?"

"You have so much power over me. I love it," I said fiercely.

"I have power over the man with superpowers. I like the sound of that," she said in a satisfied tone. "Well, I am going to use my power for good this time. You were saying Renee should worry that we're too close."

"It's all coming back to me now," I teased. "What I wanted to say is that it's natural for her to worry. She doesn't feel any differently than my family did. They never blamed you for everything that happened when I left you. They were very concerned about you and angry with me and my choices. But in some sense, they did wish we had never met, because they were so afraid for both of us. The reason they are delighted now is because they know my commitment to you is permanent. Renee doesn't have any way of knowing that."

"That's why you tried to tell her."

"Yes, but she knows that human hearts and minds can change, and she doesn't know that I'm different."

"_We're_ different," she corrected.

"Yes, we're different," I agreed, giving her another squeeze. "If she could understand that, maybe she wouldn't worry, because it's a complete waste of energy to worry about something that won't change. I found a fragile human who is more gorgeous than any vampire and whose love is stronger than any immortal. I'll never give that up."

"Hmmm," she pondered for a moment, and then gazed into my eyes. "I found a powerful vampire whose soul is more beautiful than any angel and whose touch is gentler and warmer to me than any human. I'll never give that up."

I kissed her. Her mouth was the source of so much joy for me, from the loving words that she spoke and from the heat that swept through my whole body when she pressed her lips to mine. Without breaking the contact, I stood up, cradling her in my arms. For one moment I increased the pressure and savored the tingling pleasure of the kiss, and then I carefully set her on her feet.

"They're calling our flight, love. It's time to go home."

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_Author's Note: __When my daughter first suggested writing this story and when I started thinking about it, I had no idea what would happen. The story definitely changed as I worked on it and I think became more psychologically and emotionally real and complicated. I am very pleased with the final product. If you go back to the first chapter, you can see that on the way to Florida, they didn't understand what was in store and they weren't really communicating. Bella gave no thought to the challenges Edward expected to face, and when he tried to tell her she just turned it into a goofy compliment. His goal was to pretend for Renee, and it turned out that he had to be real for her. Her goal was to have fun and it turned out that she had some work to do helping Edward and soothing her mother. Hopefully the story has unfolded so that Bella's realization (that he needs her as a partner) and Edward's realization (that it was bad for him, bad for her and bad for the relationship to try to manage everything himself) and their level of connection in this chapter all feel right. Of course Edward still feels entitled to hide things from Bella, when her safety is at stake. He doesn't come clean about the motivation for the trip until Jacob shows up to spill the beans. _

_Writing this was a very compelling and fascinating process for me. I often felt as if there were a movie of Edward and Bella in my head and I could just watch to see what they did and said. When I pictured the scene vividly, the words just flowed out. Of course, credit must go to Stephenie Meyer for creating such interesting and well-developed characters. Anyway, writing this was a tremendous pleasure, and it's been even more thrilling to know that people appreciate it. It is an absolute wonder and joy to me that people are reading and enjoying my work and taking the time to tell me about it. If you liked this story, I would love to know it. Please also consider reading some of my other stories and putting me on alert so you'll be notified when I publish new things, if you have not done so already. Thank you so very much for going on this journey with Edward, Bella and me._


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